Where have all the heroes gone?
...and how do we get them back?
Firstly we have to understand how men view things. For most men, Dancing is for "sissy's"... but this is only what they say. It is their bravado speaking... the truth is most men are scared to dance - at first! We have all seen that guy on the dance floor stumbling all over his woman's feet... throwing her around like she's some kind of poppet in a voodoo ritual... and we have all secretly laughed or scoffed at this performance - then secretly prayed that we never ever look like that. Now the best way to avoid making that kind of spectacle of yourself, is to say, "I don't dance... dancing's for 'sissy's'"
Men have a couple of ingrained fears... one being the fear of rejection... another being the fear of embarrassment. Overcoming his fear of rejection is something the Ladies can help with... and we have mentioned that in previous Write Up's. It's this fear of embarrassment that we have to have a look at.
A man is Goal orientated. He wants to be a Hero... he doesn't want to become a Hero. Either he IS or he ISN'T... and if he can't get on the dance floor and be Pablo Veron... he is afraid he might embarrass himself and so he writes "dancing" off as one of those "Super Hero Powers" that he doesn't really need.
It really takes a lot of courage for a man who has never danced before to get up on the dance floor and dance... especially if it's with a woman... and even more especially if he is trying to impress the woman. He doesn't want to feel like a complete idiot in front of a woman he is trying to impress.
... but this is the Key to Unlocking that fear.
It's because men like to impress woman that some of them do start dancing. I know a lot of men who started dancing only because they were trying to impress their girlfriends or wives... It seemed like a nice romantic surprise to take her for dancing lessons... after all, she had been hinting at the fact that she would love to learn how to do all those beautiful things she saw in that movie with Richard Gear and Jenni Lo...
My story is no different... Many people ask me, "how did I get into Tango?"
If truth be told, I didn't think much of the dance... it looked disorganised and complicated... besides the music was weird... the sort of stuff my Grandparents would listen to... didn't appeal to me at all.
But then I found out that a young lady I had a crush on, was looking for a partner to take Tango lessons with her. I jumped at the opportunity! I would impress her and get to know her better... and she would get to know me better.
We only danced together for about 4 months. What happened to me, in the meantime, was that this beautiful disease got a hold of me... and suddenly it wasn't about trying to impress this lovely lady... it was about this dance... the Tango!
Men like to be impressive... they like admiration and awe... they like feeling like a Hero. So if we can convince men that dancing is an "impressive quality" maybe more of them will come dancing...?!? Movies like "Shall we dance" and "Take the Lead", and shows like "Strictly Come Dancing", have done a lot to get rid of the "sissy" label... and have been very impressive.
I believe we can encourage more men to come dancing if we convince them it is an impressive quality...
So ladies, if you find there is a man out there who is trying to impress you in any way... invite him to come dancing... tell him that that would Reeeaaally impress you.
The next step is to make him feel like Pablo Veron on the dance floor... in one lesson! Cause that's how men are... they want to take one lesson and know how to dance - zip-zap! ... that's my job! As a Dance teacher, I have to make sure that I get the guys hooked on Tango... and I only have one lesson to do it in...
And that's why I have my Group Class for Absolute Beginners... I have streamlined this class to make Tango easy and attractive to men... by the end of the class I hope to leave them feeling like this has been fun, they haven't made fools of themselves, they can dance... and they have been impressive!
Men want to be Heroes... they want to be impressive... so let's get them to Tango! ... 'cause, let's face it, a man who can dance... is definitely Impressive!