A whole new world - women learn to lead

After a 3 hour, crash-course in ‘Women learning to lead’, a whole new world has opened up for me. First I thought, “Ok, this is easy… just holding the arms the other way around?!?” I was so wrong! I now have the utmost respect for men leading on the dance floor.

I cannot even start to describe what knowledge and understanding I have gained from that short course – it was not only exhausting and muscle aching, but also ‘heavy’ and a lot of fun - a brand new ‘exercise’.

Obviously I could ‘contain’ the smaller women a lot easier… but my role of lead, was no less challenging. You find a body in front of you with a lot of hair in your face and, of course, breasts! …that stick out and point at you. And now you must make all this move and dance… and try to remember the steps and which foot is she on... and now I know what it feels like when the women steps before the man does….. unacceptable!

A man has to lead, know his steps and that of his woman, be careful not to drop her and stand on her toes, watch the floor space and not bump into someone else, dance to the rhythm of the music and then… look happy and smell good.

You only understand the man’s world if you step into it. And that is what I did. I feel I understand the man’s role in the Tango better now… but what it also did is… now, I feel a bit insecure. Do men enjoy dancing with me? Till then I never questioned it. I felt that, “Yee… I am super ok to dance with." Now, as I said, I am not so sure anymore. I have experienced some things dancing with ladies and it was not always so comfortable and nice. I know that as a lady I want to make sure the man feels comfortable with my resistance and embrace… with my following and not stepping first. I never guessed it could feel so unpleasant for a man if the woman is not doing her role properly.

But there was a lot of very good experiences too. When one woman said “Thank you for asking me to dance” I was in heaven! It did not matter that I knew very little about the lead, what mattered was the fact that I asked her and she enjoyed the dance with me (so I guess…?).

What I also realized it that women indeed are able to follow nicely and they also use their intuition wisely …they are so clever on the dance floor. It is as if women are made to follow. When I had to lead a man - as a woman… that was almost impossible … he complained all the time, wanted to correct me and discuss the steps till I had enough and said: “Be quiet, I lead YOU follow!”

I guess, in life and on the dance floor, it is the same: A woman that is happy to follow - knows the gift her man has been given and appreciates the leadership. A women’s job, on the dance floor, is just to follow… and wear proper dance shoes.

By the way: I have a thing with shoes. So many women wear just ordinary shoes on the dance floor instead of proper dance shoes and I honestly believe that once comfortable down there, with the feet, the whole dance experience changes. I could feel a woman not wearing proper dance shoes… do your self and your dance partner a favour… wear proper dance shoes!

So, next time I am at a Milonga, can I come up and ask you (lady) to dance with me? Or are there any ladies out there who might think it as not appropriate? I am fully aware that it might be a bit spectacular and for some a bit, yeee, not so good. But then again, it is about the Dance and nothing but the Dance.

I would really encourage all the women out there to try to learn to lead …. a whole new world opens up that could – maybe – also be useful in our daily lives together. And men… maybe you should also try to follow… and then you can understand too what the women wants from your lead.